If you would have asked me a year ago why I was single, I would have told you that it was because I was 'crazy'. I'm crazy, so guys don't want a woman who is comfortable letting them know whenever they have an issue, and whenever their needs aren't being fulfilled. However, I realized that there is nothing wrong with me. A woman expressing what she feels she deserves is not 'crazy'. She is smart because she knows her worth. Brace yourselves, because I'm about to go even further...
My cousin Courtnay and I are so much alike, but one of the 200 things that we have in common is our love for the '90s show "Living Single". We can quote entire episodes, and the scene above is one of my favorites.
What would the world be like without men? If you take away the scientific theories, Khadijah is completely right. We would eat whatever we wanted, we would stress less, and we would have less of an urge to kill our significant others or the "side pieces".
I cannot speak for every young woman in their early 20's, so I'll speak for myself when I list these reasons as to why I'm single:
1. I Come Second to None.
Last March, on my 20th birthday, I had a movie date with a guy who was already on thin ice with me. A few months back, he had stood me up after asking me to dinner. I hadn't heard from him all day, so I got worried and decided to text him. We'll call him "J" for privacy purposes. (Note: Not like I care...but still.)
Text from J: "I'm sorry, I'm sick." I did not hear from him again until three months later in February.
My birthday is March 3, so he asked if he could come over and watch movies while we did homework. Long story short, the night ended up with me consoling him because he started to cry and miss his ex-girlfriend. A month later, I saw him and his girlfriend at a pageant...they were already back together.
It was that time in my life that I realized that I was too old to deal with guys who cannot express to people what it is they truly want. I don't care how confused I am, I have always let a guy know if I wasn't serious about him or not. I don't entertain a guy unless I know I'm over the last one I was dating. (Note: There hasn't been that many guys. Just speaking in general.) If you still have baggage from the previous relationships, learn how to let that hurt go. If you still want your ex, leave other women/men alone! In the words of Lauryn Hill, "It could all be so simple...but you'd rather make it hard."
2. It's On My List of Things I Don't Have Time For.
Whenever I notice foolery, I always say, "That's on my list of things I don't have time for." My friends all agree that I'm single because I don't tolerate nonsense, and a lot of guys my age are intimidated by that. No, I don’t want to come chill in your apartment- I’m already doing that in my own. No, I don’t want to leave my bed to come see you at 3 A.M. - I have class from 9 A.M. to 3 P.M., and editorials to proof and design as soon as I’m out of lectures. Not to mention, I run an incredibly hilarious blog. ;) However, I am open to dinner, a movie, a museum visit, and the orchestra…whatever your 23-year-old male brain can decide. After graduation, I plan on leaving the state of Tennessee, networking, traveling, and planting my feet in a city that I feel is best for my happiness and the longevity of my career. If you don’t want to get with that? Two words: get lost. Two words: bye boo. Two words: your loss.
I’m so glad that’s finally off of my chest. I have spent the past 3 years discussing with my friends how we could all possibly be single. We’re beautiful, brilliant, ambitious souls who would do anything to see the people we love be genuinely happy. I can finally come to the conclusion that the right person won’t magically appear just because you think you’re ready. Blessings don’t come whenever you feel you deserve them. And you could be the finest, coolest, bottle of white wine in the bunch…but there will still be people who prefer red.
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