It's 12:48 A.M. on a Friday night and I just finished swiping through Tinder. The app isn't a daily activity for me, but I like to explore my options when I procrastinate, can't sleep or both. I've been on and off with Tinder for three years, so I feel it's time to compile a list of the typical guys that receive a 'swipe left' or 'swipe right.'
Mr. Network isn't looking for a relationship or is already taken. He used his looks (or lack of) to attract the attention of clients so they can be informed of his product or service. Swipe: Left.
Mr. Too Much
I can't stand when I'm skimming someone's bio and it ends up being an entire paragraph. Talking about how they don't have kids, how they perform in bed, if they smoke weed, etc. That's all just too much. And it convinces me that I won't leave the date safe and sound. Swipe: Left.
This man will boast in his bio about how he's a gentleman, a sapiosexual and is soooo educated. He'll probably also mention that you'd be stupid to swipe left, yet he doesn't care if you do or not. Excuse me, Mr. Cocky, but it sounds like you do care. Swipe: Left.
Mr. Not Enough
For some reason men actually think they're being clever when they write, "No need for a bio. If I tell you everything now, then we won't have anything to talk about. ;)" No sir. If you don't put anything in your bio, how can I slide in your DM's making a cute joke? The information in your bio makes for great ice breakers. Swipe: Left.
Mr. Right has everything I desire in a partner. Tall, nice smile, handsome, intelligent, funny. Bonuses: a Saints fan, athletic, and not a misogynist. This man has enough in his bio to keep me interested, but isn't oversharing. He's humble, and he understands that dating apps aren't apart of a stable brand marketing plan. Swipe: Right.
I'll admit, swiping through 50 different men trying to find the one you like is the most frustrating part about Tinder. Don't get discouraged! Just remember that you deserve the best.
Are you on Tinder? Did the app help you find bae? Comment below, or tweet me @AlexisJadeL to let me know!
Thanks for reading. See you in two weeks!
Read or Weep,